A few weeks earlier in September, I wanted to have some kind of girls' night to say goodbye to my dear friends. I have loved having girls' nights at my house in the past and loved the idea of one more such memory in my house. So I planned to have a goodbye girls' night on Tuesday, October 5th. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal since we had movers doing all the packing for us and I knew we'd still have our furniture out still. I sent out invitations and looked forward to it. (Sort of - I KNEW there would be tears.) As the day approached, my very sweet and thoughful friend Heather kept asking, "Are you sure you want to do it at your house? You can have it here." At first I assured her it would be fine. But then I started thinking maybe I was a little crazy. I decided to take her up on her sweet offer. When I saw the state of affairs downstairs on Tuesday afternoon, I was feeling ever more thankful for Heather's kind offer. This was no place to hold a party. (o:
Heather (just to my right in the picture above) was a lifesaver this night and has been such a wonderful friend and neighbor for years. I love her family - Jayda was a good friend to Natalie and Sarah and little Rachel and Angela had fun playing together often too. Heather was right down the street and always willing to help watch the girls if needed, share her yummy recipes and cooking ideas and was a friendly face I always saw at the gym. Her dedicatioin to fitness inspired me! And she has such a kind heart, especially toward those going through difficult times. Any time I went to help someone in the ward, I knew Heather would be there. She had a way of "mourning with those who mourn" so sincerely. You could tell her heart just ached for those going through difficult trials. I got to be her visiting teacher for years, but she taught me more than I'm sure I taught her.
Sue, was my sweet neighbor just across the street and west of us. I first met her when we moved into the neighborhood and we were going to get our mail at the mailbox in front of her house. She was a sweetheart right from the beginning and made us feel welcome. She reminded me of one of my aunts and I felt comfortable with her from the start. We had some wonderful visits over the years. Sometimes I would stop by with one or all of the girls to say hi and she'd welcome us in. We had some really good talks. She is such a spiritual person and we connected on that level which was so neat. I really admire her and the way she has handled the trials life has thrown her with such grace and dignity. Always smiling through it.
Kathy, far right, was one of the first people I got to know in the ward when we first moved to Hillsboro. I was her visiting teacher. I was always so impressed with her humility and dedication to her family. She is a giving person and has spent more time helping and serving others in need than just about anyone I know. She has a great sense of humor and I always felt inspired after visiting with her. She would be the first to joke that I must have felt inspired for some other reason. She is uncomfortable with compliments and attention drawn to herself, but I saw the amazing person she was and wanted to be more like her. When I got to work with her amazing daughter, Joanna, in young women's - it only confirmed all the awesome things I knew about Kathy. Joanna was gentle, unselfish, more giving than any teenager I'd ever met and had this dry and witty sense of humor that I LOVED. Only a mother like Kathy could raise such an awesome daughter.
Kristi was one of "my girls" in young women's. It was so fun to get to know her. At first, I thought she was quiet and shy. Little did I know what a hilarious, quirky and spitfire girl she was! One of our YW activities was a "stay late" game night. I got to see the real Kristi, not just the quiet Sunday Kristi, and I remember just laughing my head off at the things that came out of her mouth. After that, I knew there'd never be a dull moment if she was around! She was always so thoughtful and gracious about the time and effort I put into young women's as well. She thanked me often and made me feel like I was doing a good job. That was priceless.
Tiffany is my fellow photographer friend who also happens to be Tina's sister. I've known Tina for so long that I am friends with her family now too. (o: I got to take engagement and wedding pictures for Tiffany and even attend her wedding. She is just a sweetheart and I feel so at ease around her. She is the best because she laughs at my dumb jokes and makes me laugh too.
Sweet Janae - what's not to love with an adorable face like that? (Baby Annabelle is pretty darn cute too!) I got to work with Janae for several months before being released and I just adore her. She was always there for me and so supportive in young women's right from the start. It meant the world to me. Besides that Janae was always willing to try anything - she lives life to the fullest. My love and respect for her grew even more as I watched her go through the very difficult loss of her mother to cancer. Janae was so young to lose her mom and I could tell her mom must have been a wonderful person by the way she talked about her and just by the way Janae was herself. She always had a huge smile and made me happy. Janae is a lot younger than me, but is so wise beyond her years and taught me so much.
Wendy and Tana. Wendy is the superwoman who took my place as young women's president. I was so excited to know the girls would be in awesome hands even though I knew they'd probably realize that I wasn't so great once they got to know Wendy! She is a go getter, marathon runner, "get the job done" kind of girl, creative, energetic and hilarious. I love and totally look up to Wendy. And, as I learned in YW, you can learn a lot about a woman through their children.
Tana is an amazingly mature young woman, that's not to say she doesn't know how to have a good time - Tana has her mom's energy - but she was always such a breath of fresh air, so respectful and she was a peacemaker. She's not self-centered, she's a good friend and she was a joy to be around. How I miss my girls.
Erin, who I was lucky enough to have for a visiting teacher, is just awesome. I'm so glad I got to know her before I left. Erin was one of those people who you read about in Ensign articles. She really tries to follow the promptings of the spirit to bless those around her even when it is out of her comfort zone. She has willing hands to help those around her despite the fact that she is raising young children. I'm pretty sure I was way more self-absorbed when my kids were little like hers. Erin has a great laugh and is always a joy to be around with her beautiful smile. She has a peaceful countenance that I will miss so much.
Cute Heidi and the honorary boy at the girls' night! I made Kendall (Heidi's brother) get in the picture too. (o: Heidi was Natalie's violin teacher, an awesome babysitter and one of my awesome young women. She is such a sweet and spunky girl and my girls absolutely adored her. I was always happy when I was around Heidi and loved her outgoing, ready for anything attitude about life. But I also got to see her tender and deeply spiritual side when she went through the sudden loss of her cousin in a car accident. Heidi is full of life and has so much love for those around her. I can't wait to see where life takes Heidi - she is an awesome girl and we are so sad to lose such a sweet friend, babysitter and violin teacher. )o: As I write this, I just feel such a loss for the awesome YW that were such good examples to my little girls. We have great young women in our new ward, but they aren't "my girls" and don't know me - so they don't come over and hang out with us. (o:
Kelly! What a blast I had with Kelly in young women's. She never wore it on her sleeve, but she is a very spiritual and deep person. Kelly loves to travel and read and learn. She is a fascinating person to talk to and knows way more about literature, art and politics than me, but she is too kind to be condescending or look down on anyone. Kelly is a tough cookie. She is brave. The places she traveled and things she did by herself or with her mom or sister would terrify me. She is so adventurous, I always envied that about her. I like to be in safe and familiar territory, but she comes alive when she talks about wandering around Europe with just her backpack and her sister. Kelly has a HUGE heart for her small frame. She is a dedicated friend and always the first to respond to a need when someone needs help. I have fond memories of serving side by side with Kelly in many instances whether it was young womens, or someone in relief society needing help. Kelly's amazing courage through the incredibly difficult and sudden loss of her mother was heroic. Her honesty and testimony she shared openly with the young women not long after was so touching. I think I remember her saying she laughed when she was called to primary - that is so Kelly - she just has no idea what a giant she is, but I do. (o: I didn't even mention the time she dislocated her shoulder skiing with the youth and got herself to the medical room about a 1/4 mile away all by herself. AND she STILL had a smile on her face when she told us she was trying to call to us for help, but we didn't hear. Only Kelly - I hope to be more like her someday.
And I haven't mentioned Tylin - how I love Tylin. One of the spunkiest girls I've ever known. Such a creative and carefree spirit that I can so relate to. I was (AM!) quirky too. Only Tylin is braver than I was (AM!). She's not afraid to just be her cute self and love life. I was always worried about what people thought too much. When I grow up, I want to be more carefree like
Tylin! She never ceased to make me smile. One night after an activity I walked a little tin box to her house that she left behind. I shouldn't have been so nosy, but I looked inside. She had so many cute little random treasures in there. I think there was a frog, and several other tiny bright colored things that I knew she just kept in that little treasure box just because they made her happy. I smiled all the way to her house as I took it to her. Tylin makes me happy.
Tina (on my left) - what can I say? She was one of my very, very first and truest friends in Oregon. I think if we had logged the hours we spent talking in person or on the phone they would be in the millions. Tina got me through so many long days as a young mom. We would often have "playdates" for the kids - which were really excuses for us to have an adult to talk to. We got to serve in activity days together when we were first getting to know each other and that is where I learned what an awesome leader she is. Very organized and thoughtful of details. I wanted to be like that. She always noticed and remembered details about people. It was uncanny to me how well she could pinpoint my favorite things as well as other friends. I've tried to be better about that because of her. She is such a thoughtful and observant person. Tina was always an example to me of someone who sincerely wanted to be the best she could be. She stood for what was right and saw needs that others had before they had a chance to verbalize them. Tina is a caring, giving, unselfish friend and I know we will continue to be friends for a long, long time. I learned so much from Tina and owe her a lot of money for the therapy our talks were for me! Her listening ear, sense of humor and her fun personality brought me so much joy the last 10 years. We have so many fun memories - man this is making me homesick.
Eva, on my right, was a dear friend I met through Sarah. Eva is Monica's mom. Anyone who really knows Sarah, knows her best friend since Kindergarten is Monica. These two were unseperable. Monica made the transition to Patterson a piece of cake for Sarah. They were two of just a handful of kids that had to transfer to a different school in 2nd grade which I think only solidified their friendship even more. Eva and I got to know each other better as the girls got older and I learned what a kind and wonderful woman she was. Monica was the most supportive and dedicated friend I've ever seen at such a young age. Sarah was so blessed. As I got to know Eva, I could see where she got it from. Eva brought Monica to Sarah's baptism when she turned 8. That meant the world to me - it was a long event and they stayed the whole time. They brought Sarah flowers. Then I got to know Eva more when the girls got older and wanted more playdates. Monica came for our little "science girls" club, we took the girls to school activities and some of our own outings. I loved learning about the Mexican culture from Eva - she shared so much with me about their rich traditions and heritage. She is a wonderful mother who loves her family so much. She lives far away from her extended family and understood that longing to be closer. Eva is just a beautiful person inside and out. On the day we left Oregon she brought each of us bags filled with toys, notebooks, treats and oranges for the long drive. Such a kind and thoughtful heart.
Shalyce, just to my right, is awesome. She is so organized and such a natural born leader. She is the only woman I know who could pull off having twins and raising twins (and sweet Sage - the twins' older sister) all while serving as relief society president of the ward! I don't know many woman who could have done it looking as pulled together as she always did. She is very humble though, and would never take any credit for the wonderful service she gave to the ward and her family at the same time. She is a deeply spiritual person and knows that Heavenly Father buoyed her up and helped her accomplish all the things she had to do. That is why she did such a beautiful job - she surrendered and let Him lead the way. Her humility and testimony through it all was so uplifting and such a great example to so many women. I was thrilled to get to serve with her for a few months as secretary before our huge life-altering decision to move. I am a better person for having known Shalyce and am so grateful for her example of love and leadership.
Carrie was one of the first people I got to know in our new Hillsboro ward, then called the Dawson Creek ward. My first calling was to work with her as one of her counselors in YW. She was a pro at that calling - she had it for 4 1/2 years. She was so good at being efficient, keeping things moving and organizing. But she wasn't all business - we laughed a lot! Later, I got to know Carrie in a different setting - as her piano student. I learned so much more than piano from her in those hours at her piano. She always had her scriptures on the couch that she'd been studying sometime before I came. Often she'd be on her way to the temple after our lessons. She had a special connection with several of the older sisters in our ward and served them with a smile and sincere friendship. She loves her family and is very close to all her kids. Carrie was such a supportive teacher and really made me feel like I was doing great. She was fun and cheered me on. I loved our time together.
Tiffany (far right) and I have quite a history. We were actually in the same ward at BYU before we knew we'd be in Oregon. We didn't know each other very well back then. She was actually better friends with my sister in law, Shanna, but I always thought she was a sweet person. It was fun to get to know her better when we moved into her ward. I got to serve with her in Relief Society for a while and we had a lot of fun. Tiffany was always laughing at my silly sense of humor and cracking me up as well. She is so friendly with everyone and reaches out to each person around her. She's not exclusive - she welcomes and befriends everyone. I'm sure she gets sad or mad sometimes, but I can't think of a time she didn't have a smile on her face. She is just a great person to be around and I want to be more like that.
Sweet Liberty was my first visiting teacher with Janell when we moved into our Hillsboro ward. One of the things I love the very best about Liberty is her amazing insights into spiritual matters and life in general. She is very bright and such and interesting person to talk to. I could talk to her for hours and hours about anything and everything. And we often did during our visits. I always loved when she made comments in church because I knew it would be something good, something spiritual and often something that would crack me up. Liberty has the best sense of humor and knows how to laugh at herself. A quality I just love in a person. She is beautiful inside and out and loves to reach out to others. She is always hosting parties and showers for people - she is thoughtful and a friend to everyone around her. She is awesome! How was I so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing women?
Lisa and I met a couple years ago when I was serving in Relief Society. We had a midweek activity to see the Tuliip festival in Woodburn and she had just moved into the ward. I led the small group and Lisa carpooled with me. She was brand new, but jumped right in to get to know people. She's not the kind of person who waits around for someone to reach out to her. I had the privilege of serving with her in young women's and she was a lifesaver! She is so organized and thoughtful of so many details. She is very dedicated and always goes the extra mile. I don't know what I would have done without her in young women's - she truly magnified her calling. And besides that, she is so fun to be around. Lisa is always, always happy and involved. She is willing to try anything and jumps in to help even before you realize you need help with something. She is always a step ahead. What an awesome friend - I am so glad to have known Lisa.
My Fotheringham girls. Wow. So much to say. Linda, on the left - who looks like she's just one of the sisters is actually Sarah and Lizzy's mom. (o: Linda has such a gracious and peaceful spirit. She is a woman who has dignity and quiet strength. I thought so when I first met her and I think so even more now. She was our new bishop's wife when the Cornell ward was just formed - we didn't know them yet because they were from another ward before. Shortly after her husband was called to be our bishop, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. How they got through those days, that year of tests, chemotherapy and the terrifying uncertainties that come with cancer all while her husband served so valiantly as our wonderful bishop I'll never know. Well, I know, but I'll never understand the courage and faith it must have took them. I have a deep respect for Bishop and Linda Fotheringham for the way they carried our ward and set the example and comforted us when we worried and prayed so much for them. Truly, some of the neatest people I know. Linda is one of my heroes, but she is so humble and sweet she'd just brush it off when I'd try to tell her. I hope when trials come, I can handle them with the same grace and dignity she did in those dark and uncertain days.
Then there's those incredible girls. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" Sarah and Lizzy were not just one of "my girls" they were my friends. It's not often that teens have any interest in 35 year old has beens (o: But these two girls are exceptional. They have recognized early in their lives, because they are much more mature than most teens, how awesome friendships can be with women of all ages. I was probably in college before I really figured this out. They made me (and still make me) laugh my head off and feel young again. They never treated me like an old lady - just like a friend and I appreciated that more than they'll know. I loved when they'd show up at my door whether it was to show me their gorgeous dresses for a dance, to stop by for a drink after a bike ride, to drop off yummy bread or to kill time while making plans, etc. It made my day and I loved having them in my home. I miss that sooo much. They were such wonderful examples to my girls. I love Sarah's spunk and hilarious sense of humor. I love that Sarah is so adorable, but never ever lets it go to her head. She has a good head on her shoulders and never got carried away by all the teen drama that most girls her age do. Lizzy was so quiet when I first was getting to know her, I could never tell what she was thinking or if she thought I was a dud. I always knew she had a great sense of humor. She made me laugh, and when she started opening up to me it was like opening the best Christmas present ever! I found out she didn't think I was a dud (which made me so glad!), she was such a deep thinker, an incredible poet and the most content person with life. Lizzy loves life and every little thing about it. She loves simple pleasures and celebrates life every day. Her love for life is contageous and makes me happy!
Julie was one of THE very first Oregon friends - I think she is the oldest one that I am still in close contact with. Back in 2000, when Intel hired a huge number of BYU grads - there was an Exodus from Provo to Hillsboro. A handful of us landed in the Rock Creek ward. Julie and I lived in the same apartment complex back when I was pregnant with Sarah. We were all so new and trying to find our bearings as new moms, new Oregonians and all far from family. A group of us bonded quickly and found ways to adjust together. We went for walks in the morning together, had scrapbooking groups, outings with the kids to get to know the sights around Portland and threw lots of baby showers as we were all starting our families. Julie had two little ones at the time. Trevor (who is 12 now - or 13?) was maybe three and Matthew was 18 months. Then, lucky for me, we ended up in the same ward again when we bought houses. I moved from that house 5 years later and just this last year, Julie bought a house in our ward! I still remember the day she told me. I was so excited! Even those years when we were in different wards, we still kept in pretty close touch. Mostly through doing preschool together. Jason and Natalie did two years together and then Angela and Jenna did two years together. Julie is someone I just adore and want to be like. She is such an amazing and creative mom. I always found myself asking her how she does this or that. She is a teacher at heart and knows how to handle kids so well. A lot of the things I have done as a mom were inspired by the creativity and great love I saw her put into her job as a mom. She is a pro, but she would be the first to deny that. That's why I just love her - she is totally awesome, but doesn't know it! I really look up to Julie and can't say enough about her. Even though I think we are probably the same age, I have always looked up to her like a big sister. I have leaned on her wisdom and advice many times and I want to be just like her!
Sweet Shannan... soon after we moved into our house I found out that Shannan was my backyard neighbor. Had I known what a perk that would be when we bought the house, I would have been even more excited! (o: I don't know how many times we met at the back fence where the slat was missing to exchange all kinds of things. Food, homework papers, backpacks, socks from playdates (Lydia and Natalie), Booster Club stuff, even children. (o: Sometimes it would be Matt and Frank* we'd send out. Sometimes they'd just meet out there to talk about work. That missing slat in the fence seems so endearing to me now. So many times Lydia and Natalie would stand there and exchange little treasures: notes, picked flowers, candy or they'd just sit and talk too. I don't know how many wonderful pies Shannan made and passed over that fence. But more than that, it was such a comfort to know that we had such good friends right behind us that we knew we could count on to take care of us. Friends who would help us (and often did) even if we didn't ask for help. I remember so well the week after Frank* was called into the bishopric was our neighborhood barkdust day. Big piles of barkdust were delivered and everyone could fill up their wheelbarrows and use it in their front yards. We were so overwhelmed with everything, we decided not to worry about it. Only Matt and Shannan really understood what kind of pressure was on Frank* at work and what kind of time consuming church responsibilites he had just received. They were the ones who knew best and when I looked out from Natalie's window to see their family bringing barkdust to our yard and the boys spreading it out for us, I cried. That's the kind of friends they were. So thoughtful and kind. I feel so sad not having them right in our backyard. I miss the sounds of the kids playing outside together and laughing. I miss talking to Shannan about Booster club and how to make it better. Shannan is one of those people who wants to make the world better and she does rather than just thinking about it. She is a hard worker and such an organized and dedicated person to anything she does. She has a love for learning and has learned some amazing talents - sewing, baking, cooking, cake decorating, gardening . . . but she will never admit that these are talents. (o: She is very humble. I have learned so much from Shannan and know we will remain friends for a long, long time.
Michelle - Mark and Michelle were two of the first friends Frank* and I made when we moved to Oregon - so young and so lonesome. Mark trained Frank* at work and the two of them have worked together for pretty much our whole time in Oregon. They are hilarious together and liked each other enough that outside of work, they would plan get togethers. That is how I met Michelle. I remember being pregnant with Sarah and having BBQ's at their house and even going on an adventure to the Ape Caves near St. Helens. It was so fun climbing around down there and exploring - even if I was waddling. (o: Nah - I wasn't that far along. Soon, I joined in Michelle's book club and got to know some other wonderful friends through her. After a while, we felt so at home hanging out with them - like family. They were always so sweet to our girls and visited us at the hospital every time we had a baby. It was so fun when they had little Ruby and we got to go see them! Since then, Michelle and I have had some fun girls nights to relax and talk about being moms and the funny things our kids do. She is my Twilight buddy and came to the last two movie girls' nights. We both loved downtown Hillsboro and the awesome stores (Let's Play), theater, restaraunts and farmers' market. When I think of Main Street I think of her. Probably because half the time we were there we'd run into her and Mark. Frank* has really missed working with Mark - they were such good friends. Gosh the more I write these tributes, the more I wonder what were we thinking moving away from such amazing friends? I wish we could have our friends and family all in one place. )o: We miss Michelle and Mark a lot! And Ruby too!
Kim - Julie's big sis (above). Kim also happens to be my best bud Kim #2's sister in law. Several years ago, another friend of mine - Julie M., but not the same Julie as above - who was a sister in law to the two Kims, dubbed them Kim #1 and Kim #2 because their husbands (brothers) both married a Kim, thus they both had the same last name. (o: Got it? This is Kim #1 and Kim #2 is one of my best friends. I have all kinds of connections with their awesome family and love them all to pieces. Before I even knew Kim #1, I admired her. I heard so many great things from Julie and Julie and Kim #2 and others who knew her. She is so talented and so kind-hearted. She and Julie started a business together writing and marketing preschool lessons. (Kidgenuity - look it up on Google!) They are awesome and that was the preschool program all three of my girls went through - Sarah was during the test phase. When we moved to Hillsboro and to the same ward as Kim, I was so excited to get to know this legend of a person! (o: I even got to work with her in relief society. My girls went to her boys' basketball camp. She was even better than everything good I heard about her. Such a genuine, spiritual and talented person. And then her husband was called to be bishop and Frank* as his counselor. I was so excited to get to rub shoulders even more with them. Just an awesome, awesome family. I am so so sad that Frank* didn't get to stay longer to work in the bishopric with Bob. Their example and friendship blessed our lives so much in the few short months before we made our huge decision to leave Oregon. We love Kim and her awesome family.
Caryn was our neighbor just across the street. She is the kindest person I have ever met. So Christ-like and sincere and concerned for others. So many times she would share a deep concern for someone in her church or a friend who was going through a hard time. So many times she told me she was praying for us - whether it was just when we headed off on a vacation or when we had decided to take the job in Utah and I was very concerned about selling the house quickly. And I know she meant it. She'd often say, "We were praying for you." Especially during our move. I believe a lot of the miracles we witnessed must have been in part because of her prayers. She has so much faith and love. We absolutely loved her good family and wonderful kids. Natalie and her Elizabeth were getting to be really good friends when we left. Caryn and I could talk for hours and hours about parenting, our faith in the Savior, the blessings in our lives and what was going on in the world. I loved having such a wonderful family living close by and the awesome example her teens were to my girls; just great kids. Her family always took amazing care of our home and pets and yard when we went out of town. It was so nice to know our home was in such good hands. One time, I gave another friend our code to open the garage and get something out. I could hear the garage going up and before it was all the way up, I heard Caryn in a friendly way coming to check and make sure these people getting in the house were legit! Caryn has forever changed me and made me want to be a better person and show more Christ-like love to others. She is a dear friend and we shed many tears during our goodbyes. I miss her kind friendship.
This is Kaitlyn, one of my young women, one of my wonderful friends. I love Katie to pieces. This is one amazing young lady. There is NEVER a dull moment when Katie is around - she makes anything fun. This girl has more enthusiasm in her pinky than . . . well you get the idea. She was so good for my ego as YW president and always told me, "That was so awesome!", "I had so much fun!" I was always so grateful for her encouragement and positive attitude that she gave me and spread to others. She reaches out to others and serves wherever she is needed. There were so many Sundays she would be sitting with a family helping with special needs kids, so many of the older members of the ward that she would go give a big hug to and genuinely befriend. She was a ray of sunshine in our ward (and I'm sure still is) and brought so much happiness to others. She, like Sarah and Lizzy, loved to hang out with friends - and her friendships included people of all ages. She would come hang out with me and the girls or go on outings with us to the beach or to the park and my girls loved her so much. Even though Kaitlyn is younger than me by just a few years (I wish), I really admire her and want to be more like her.
I didn't intend for this blog post to be so lengthy, but as I look at the faces of these women who have changed my life forever, I can't help but write down what amazing people they are. It has been difficult to go back and write this all down. I am so homesick for Oregon. It is hard to believe we left behind such wonderful people - my heart aches for each of them (and those who didn't happen to make it that night, but whom I love just as much). So many dear friends that I will always be a better person for knowing. I love you all so much and hope that somehow I can find friendships as dear out here. I can't imagine. I know, it just takes time to get to know people's stories, make memories and feel that comfort of familiarity. We had a good ten years to settle in and really get to know and love the people in the corner of the world of Hillsboro, Oregon. We will never forget them and hope to keep those friendships and connections as long as possible. And of course come back for visits!
Love you all.
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