My Sweet Baby Girl

Ugh - my baby is growing up and I can't stop her. I want her to stop. I want all my girls to stay little. There is a scene in the Japanese animated film "Ponyo" (it's by the same guy who did "Spirited Away" which we love - very, very different from your average Disney cartoon FYI) Anyway, there is a father of a little fish who is trying to grow up. The dad puts the fish in a jar and tries to physically stop the fish from growing up. He tries to squish it smaller. It was humorous and sad to me all at the same time. That's exactly how I feel. He couldn't stop it any more than I can.

I can't believe Angela will be in Kindergarten next year. What will I do with her gone? I know it will be nice to get some things done around the house, etc. etc. But seriously, I would rather have my buddies with me. I am jealous of those moms whose kids are in the stage when their kids are all home with them. I loved having our own schedule and not having to accommodate the school schedule. Maybe if I went back in time I'd remember better all the hard parts of that season of life too. But as I come close to that being a distant memory, I get so sentimental and sad about moving on to a new stage of life as a mom.

The picture above is Angela with Tori at Out of This World; a fun special playdate - and nice break for Tina and I to just chat. Tina and I reminisced about the days when the only thing we had on our schedules were playdates. Those were fun times and we could hang out for hours - until nap time - unless we were having too much fun. Now we have kids in all different directions, kids going/coming home from school, forgotten homework or lunches, sick days, preschool, lessons, parties, volunteering, etc. Life is much more hectic and not as laid back as it used to be. But I get to sleep through the night. I have time to myself when Angela goes to preschool. I can do so much more with independent children. I can go to the bathroom with the door shut!, get completely ready for the day all at once, practice piano, work on photo shoots, read more, etc. These are all good things. And I love watching the girls grow and show their personalities as they get bigger.

So I'll suck it up and enjoy this stage. But the thing that makes me struggle with this stage is that it is one step closer to the inevitable. When the house will be waaayyy too quiet and there will be no schedules or little people to accommodate. )o: That will be lonesome.

Angela tells people when they ask about her going to Kindergarten next year, "Mommy will miss me." Yep, my little sweetie - I sure will.